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Then they started up again. I was staggered. They weren’t stopping, not by any stretch of the imagination. He was pounding her again, there was that sound of his body slamming against hers with every thrust. Her cries were more like yelps.
It was three in the morning. Would they ever sleep?
I thought the original plan had been mildly humorous, that if Hanna spent the night with one of the other guys, that they’d end up needing a long lie-in in the morning, and therefore would end up plowing nicely through another boring day in the chalet. But the way this was shaping up, they were going to end up needing to sleep through the entire day.
I was a little horrified, though it didn’t reduce the level of arousal I felt.
Then she was gasping and crying out his name:
‘Oh... fuck... oh yes... Oh Jake... yes... Jake...’
That was the final straw for me, there was no way back from that. The sound of my wife’s voice. My wife calling out another man’s name as he slammed his big, hard cock into her eager pussy.
I felt myself beginning to go, and what somewhat spoiled the full effect was the panic that shot through me, that it was happening, that I was coming, sitting here on the hallway floor. I was up on my feet, rushing to the bathroom as quickly and silently as I could, grabbing at the toilet roll only just in time.
As I came into a wad of soft toilet tissue— feeling all sweaty and a little embarrassed, praying Hayden didn’t pick this moment to visit the bathroom himself—I swear, I heard Hanna coming in the other room. With another guy. Though she was trying to muffle it with pillows or bedsheets or something, that was definitely what it was.
I felt like I hadn’t heard her making those sounds in a while.
I was jealous, I even felt a little lonely, strangely. I still felt a little aroused, even after my own orgasm.
I don’t know what I was expecting as I came out of the bathroom. Maybe the sight of Hanna, hovering in my doorway, trying to make sure I was all right. Sweaty from her bout of infidelity. Sexy and dangerous in the dull light of the bare bulb hanging from the hallway ceiling. Ready to join me.
She wasn’t there. As I came out of the bathroom, I saw instantly that the door to Hanna and Jake’s room—and I did now think of it as their room, not mine and my wife’s—was now closed. Who had closed it? I felt cold, excluded. I was nervous that Hanna really was going to spend the night with Jake. Wrapped up in his arms.
Then, despite the fact that the sound was now blocked considerably by the door, I heard them starting up again. Fucking. Still. And though things were muffled now, it seemed from what I could hear that they were letting go a lot more, that they were no longer worried about being heard. They felt free to completely let go.
I seethed with jealousy. Hanna was keeping me out. It felt strangely like actual cheating.
And yet I was hard as a rock again, mere moments after coming.
It was the most intensely erotic experience I’d ever had.
Part Two: Dealer’s Choice
Chapter Nine
She really did spend the whole night with him. There was no dashing out at 3am, 4am, whatever, to see if I was okay, to give me a quick fuck to show me she was still mine in heart and soul. When I woke at 4am, I hauled myself out of bed and went to lurk in the doorway again, and there was absolutely no sound other than the wind and the rain outside.
I think I might even have felt better if I’d woken up at that hour to hear that they were still at it, still fucking. Instead, I stood there with the full horror that they were merely asleep in there together, perhaps cuddled up like affectionate lovers.
I know, that was the deal we’d made. She would spend the night with the winner of the damn card game. Somehow I’d kind of assumed she’d sneak out of there to join me once Jake was asleep. Or that she’d boot him out once they were finished screwing. But this was the deal. Together, all night.
I wondered if Jake’s initial expectation, when he and Hanna went upstairs together like that after the game, was that she would simply sleep next to him all night. That they’d get to chat, socialize a little. He might see her naked for a few moments until she put on her PJs. That kind of thing. Instead, she’d gone through with the full interpretation of the deal: he could do whatever he liked with her. Spending the night with her meant sleeping with her, in the full, lust-filled and sweaty physical sense of the phrase.
Now, in the early hours of the morning, I stood across the hall from them, and the clean, innocent meaning of the phrase ‘spending the night’ seemed more dangerous. Although, I suppose they had already fucked. Clean and innocent was long gone.
My jealousy was at its peak, my sense of horror and despair hitting me hard. And yet, I was still mightily turned on. I wanted Hanna more than ever before. I waited a long while before finally trudging back to bed, finding it difficult to get back to sleep with an erection like that.
*
Daylight came at six, and I was up with it. Tired, but full of too much nervous adrenaline to sleep in. It felt as though I had SATs to pass that day, tests that would have more impact on my future than even my college degree.
I guess my subconscious felt that when Hanna emerged from her night with Jake, I would have to win her back. My heart was thumping, I felt vaguely nauseous, my skin was all clammy, my palms sweaty.
I made myself some breakfast—some of the local cereal, which was just about close enough to corn flakes to be edible, but not all that far removed from animal feed—and sat on the window seat, gazing out at the continuing rain and the miserable muddy street outside.
There was no sound from upstairs. I supposed that the whole aim of making last night a big one was that we should all try to sleep in as long as possible today, to get through the tedium unconscious. It felt slightly unfair that I couldn’t sleep. My body was so energized by anxiety and—still—arousal that I was never going to be able to fully relax.
An hour later, I was even contemplating putting on waterproof coats and pants and going for a walk or hike in the misery outside.
Then Hayden came downstairs, looking fresh and well rested.
‘Hey, how’s it going?’ he said, his broad smile warm and friendly.
‘Oh, you know,’ I grinned in return, trying to seem calm, like nothing unusual had happened at all.
He nodded. ‘They still—?’
‘Sleeping in,’ I said casually as a shiver sauntered down my spine.
He hesitated just a fraction of a second, but it seemed like an age to me—his eyes flickering over my face, taking me in, working out whether I was devastated by what Hanna had done with Jake the previous night, or whether I really didn’t care. The truth was neither, but I felt the preferable demeanor was the latter, acting as though it wasn’t a big deal my wife going off to fool around with another guy.
Then he was heading into the kitchen area, to fetch himself the same kind of breakfast I’d finished off an hour before.
‘So... you slept okay last night?’ he asked me, keeping up his air of friendliness and positivity, as though he was secretly concerned for my mental wellbeing.
‘Oh, so-so,’ I said, feeling about as awkward as I could get.
‘You were... on the couch, right?’
He put his cereal bowl down on the island and looked at me as though he suddenly needed confirmation that he hadn’t dreamt the whole strip poker thing, and the fact that my wife had slept with our friend.
‘I was... up in Jake’s room,’ I said.
He nodded, and went on fixing his breakfast.
God it was so awkward. But that week, in that chalet, the rain still pouring down outside, what else was there to talk about? Everything either of us said was like trying to break the ice in the conversation.
‘So... are you okay, buddy?’ he asked me.
I shrugged. ‘I’m fine.’
He wandered over to the table carrying his over-filled cereal bowl carefully to avoid spillage.
‘Seriously?’
r /> ‘Really, I’m okay.’
With the cereal bowl safely on the table, he pulled out a chair and sat facing me.
‘’Cause, you know, you can talk to me about it.’
‘I know, thanks,’ I gave him a smile that appreciated his concern, his friendship. ‘But really, I’m fine.’
He nodded, but gave the impression he didn’t entirely believe me.
‘You guys... ever done anything like this before?’ he asked.
‘Nope,’ I confirmed.
‘Pretty crazy,’ he smiled again, still striding that knife-edge of awkwardness.
I nodded, ‘Pretty crazy.’
Then, in almost an unguarded outburst, as though he spoke before thinking, he said, ‘I don’t think I could do it.’
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. It was the awkwardness of everything that amused me as much as what the big, strong, alpha-male Hayden had said. I didn’t even mean to laugh—it just erupted from me, no thought required. It seemed to defuse the tension between us, though.
I said, ‘You’ve never been married.’
‘No.’
‘You’ve never even dated someone for longer than... what... three months?’
He tilted his head left then right, considering his long, illustrious dating history, before refuting my claim. ‘I was with Hilary Fowler for close on six months.’
‘But from my recollection... you also dated that girl from your accounts department... and the barista... while you were with Hilary Fowler. Right?’
He hung his head slightly. ‘Guilty as charged. So... so what you’re saying is, if you’re with someone for longer than six months...’
‘Probably a fair bit longer than six months.’
‘... You don’t care if she goes off... you know... with another guy?’ Hayden was somewhat stunned by the thought.
I pulled myself up from the window seat, intending to get a drink from the kitchen, more as a distraction than actually because I was thirsty. I thought a glass of water might hide my blushing face.
‘It’s not such a big deal,’ I insisted, sticking to a tactic of downplaying everything. I didn’t want to fess up to finding it sexually stimulating that Hanna was with someone else, although now I started wondering if Hanna had mentioned my secret to Jake while they’d been sleeping together all night. ‘It’s just sex.’
‘But sex with your woman.’
Standing in front of the sink, I chuckled. ‘My woman? It’s not as though I own her.’
‘But she is your wife. You’ve chosen her. You’re... sleeping with her. Usually.’
‘You know, she’ll come back from being with Jake... and she’ll still be my wife,’ I pointed out. ‘She’s not going to leave me for Jake after one night with him.’
‘You hope.’
I turned to him, glass of water in hand, and smiled. ‘I trust her. You can’t understand it because you’ve never had that level of connection with someone.’
I thought he might deny it, that somewhere deep in his past there had been someone who had some kind of connection with him. But he didn’t. He just shrugged acceptance of what I said.
‘So you just... let her sleep with him... and then, what? You get to sleep with another woman when we get home?’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t think it works that way. This is... you know... a one-time deal. Because we’re having such an awful time here until the damn shuttle bus comes back.’
‘You don’t think there’d be some kind of leverage?’ he laughed. ‘I mean... if it was me, I’d push it. You know: “Hanna, you slept with someone else on vacation... I say I get to sleep with someone else now.” ’
‘It’s not like that for us...’ I felt the awkwardness creeping back in—I knew it sounded illogical, saying I didn’t think I would want to sleep with another woman after this incident between Hanna and Jake. But I couldn’t tell him what made it seem logical to me: that I only wanted Hanna, that what she was doing turned me on, and rendered other women... well, pointless to me just then.
He shrugged. I really didn’t expect him to understand. We were different kinds of people, even though we were good friends. He dated someone until the sex began to seem stale, or until someone else turned his head. And then he simply moved on, no big deal.
‘When you date someone,’ I said to him, returning to my seat at the window, ‘does it freak you out that she’s had sex with other guys before you?’
He paused to think about it. ‘Uh-uh... I guess not.’
‘You don’t only date virgins.’
‘God, no.’
‘And when you start dating someone, do you make it clear to her that you’re exclusive as soon as you start sleeping with her?’
‘Uh-uh,’ he shook his head. ‘I don’t...’
He didn’t seem to understand the concept of exclusivity.
‘So a girl you’re dating... could be dating someone else at the same time?’ I asked him.
‘Maybe,’ he shrugged.
‘So you see... it’s not really a big deal.’
He furrowed his brow, as though he really hadn’t thought too much about it. He said, ‘I guess so. I guess... when I’m dating someone... I don’t think too much about who she’s dated before me.’
‘So, there you go,’ I smiled, as though my whole case was proven. As though I wasn’t in the least bit unusual, accepting my wife sleeping with another man.
‘So you’re not... you know... angry... at Jake?’ he asked.
‘Why should I be?’
‘Well... I mean, if I’m dating someone... and a friend starts dating her as well...’
‘You’d be angry at him?’
Hayden shrugged. ‘I guess... it doesn’t matter.’
I felt secure in myself just then, the awkwardness dispelled. Only, then we started to hear something from upstairs—the bang-bang-bang sound of a headboard knocking rhythmically against a bedroom wall, starting quietly, but getting louder and louder.
I felt my insides churn. Jake was fucking Hanna again.
‘They’re at it again,’ Hayden nodded, tilting his head slightly to listen.
‘Yeah,’ I shrugged, and tried looking out of the window as though I really didn’t give a damn.
After a while, we heard her moaning.
That awkwardness was back between Hayden and me. I had to hide my erection from him, which made me sit weirdly. I was considering the fact that Hanna didn’t have to keep fucking him—the night was over, as soon as you woke up. Technically, this was outside of the deal. Along with the butterflies in my stomach, I felt a strange twinge that almost seemed as though I considered Hanna to be verging on cheating now. Bizarrely, it didn’t lessen my sexual excitement over what was going on.
‘Well... they’re passing the time, huh?’ I said, as though that was the priority for us in that chalet. All other considerations were secondary.
‘Yeah,’ Hayden nodded. Then he added, ‘Hey, you want to see if we can walk down to the grocery store before getting completely soaked to the skin?’
I laughed. ‘Sure.’
Well, as arousing as I found the strange sound of my wife being fucked by somebody else just upstairs, the thought of getting out of there did feel safer, less complicated. Wrapped up in our waterproof coats and pants, the rain battering down all over us, there was no room for conversation. We could just about communicate by turning to each other and pointing. There could be no awkward pauses, no embarrassment.
We went down to the grocery to see if there had been a fresh delivery of edible foods. Or to try to find something among the aisles that we’d missed before.
And I guess I was thinking that if we still had a few days to go, and Hanna had used up her star idea of sleeping with the winner of our poker game, what were we all going to do to fill up the rest of our time at the chalet?
*
When Hayden and I returned to the chalet, having found precious little of anything to even vaguely entertain ourselves at the grocery s
tore, Jake and Hanna were out of the bedroom, freshly showered and dressed, eating a late breakfast as though nothing untoward had happened whatsoever.
I found myself wondering if they’d showered together, if they’d had one last fuck under the flow of the water.
Both of them were eating the regulation breakfast cereal, with Hanna sat on the window seat and Jake over at the table—the two of them separate, as though attempting to disassociate from each other following their night of complete togetherness. Hanna was wearing a small—deliberately small, it seemed—denim skirt and dark hose covering her long legs, along with a white button-down shirt that opened just far enough to reveal a hint of her purple bra.
‘Find anything good at the store?’ Hanna asked us, looking over at me as though to check I wasn’t insane with jealousy or otherwise crazy angry with her. I smiled at her, and saw distinct relief in her features as she reflected it back at me.
‘Are you kidding?’ Hayden laughed. ‘It’s probably against the law to sell anything ‘good’ there.’
‘You found something,’ Jake pointed out.
I was unpacking various items clutched in two large plastic carrier bags. ‘We thought we might try making a cake,’ I said, holding up a large box of eggs and a bag of very basic-looking flour.
Hanna giggled, and it seemed to me she was energized by the belief I wasn’t upset with her. ‘You never made a cake in your life!’
‘Can’t be that difficult,’ I shrugged.
‘They have a recipe down at the store? Because you know we don’t even have Slovakian Google up here.’
Slumped down on the couch, Hayden cackled. ‘He’s got some genius plan to just work it out.’
I shrugged, ‘We’ve got plenty of time, right? And plenty of ingredients for testing batches...’
Hayden pointed out, ‘It was, like, nine cents for a truck load of flour.’
Jake was laughing at us, and in his laughter I also sensed some kind of relief, that I clearly didn’t hate him for what had happened overnight, that I was talking as though we were still all friends, as though nothing much had happened between himself and my wife.